Effective Parenting Training

By: Coby Edmunds

A parent, whether single or with a partner, is often blamed for anything that goes wrong with their children. Blame for the perceived wrongdoings of our children is probably one of the hardest burdens that we as parents have to carry.

The truth is that parents these days are time poor and their children are, more than ever before, influenced by many powerful outside sources. Most parents are doing the best they can with the knowledge they have. For the majority of people, this knowledge is based on how they were parented themselves. But times have changed, what worked for their parents and for them as children may not work now for their own families. Many people find that relying on what they learned from their own experience isn’t sufficient.

With just about everything that we do in life, we learn from our ‘mistakes’. Some of our mistakes are easy to move on from, others can last a lifetime and cause untold heartache.

Most people are born with parental instincts so parenting does come naturally to a certain extent. But who among us can say that they have not made mistakes? The evidence of some of our hasty parenting decisions can be in the form of defiant, uncommunicative or sullen children and teenagers, and these mistakes are not easy to live with.

Is there a better way? Yes, there is. Learning to become an effective parent can save a great deal of heartache.

Effective parenting is a learned skill and like just about everything else that we do, the more we practice effective parenting techniques, the better and more effective we become at parenting.

Effective parenting training gives us a better understanding of the complexities of our family, the pressures that our children face in the modern school setting, and the added pressure from part time work that many young people experience. It teaches us how to listen, understand and communicate with our children so that we do not make things worse, whilst still understanding that every child, family and situation is unique.

Can effective parenting training (EPT) help?

In short, effective parenting training takes some of the guess work out of parenting and provides strategies and tools that can be used to create a more harmonious home. If things are pretty good at home, proactive parenting is even better.

* EPT gives parents the opportunity to stop and look at their home situation from a different perspective. What were your goals when you started your family? EPT is a big step towards achieving those goals.

* EPT can help parents identify if they are working with or against each other. How do they reach consensus?

* EPT provides guidelines for putting things into order at home – creating a ‘bottom line’, revisiting values and establishing rules, boundaries and consequences. This step alone is critical. Too many rules become unworkable but rules and boundaries provide a baseline for the whole family and a structure with foundations for feeling safe with everyone knowing what is expected of them.

* Rules, boundaries and structure are meaningless to children and teenagers without loving, sincere and effective communication. EPT will teach parents how to listen and communicate effectively rather than inflaming situations.

* EPT will assist parents in understanding what their children need to experience in order to feel loved. Most parents do try to show their love but do not understand that what is perceived as love to one person may be quite different to another.

* Parents will understand how their children learn. Once again, because we are unique individuals, we all learn differently. This understanding can provide the parent untold and unique opportunities to help their children gain confidence at school.

With these tools and a firmer foundation upon which to move their families forward in a positive direction, parents and their children will feel empowered.

Children are resilient and forgiving and they do want to feel the love their parents have for them. It is essential for their growth into healthy young adults. Where there has been continuing conflict you can be pretty sure that some of those loving feelings have been lost. They can be reestablished. There has to be at least one ‘adult’ in a situation to turn things around; someone who is willing to take the responsibility to get things moving in the right direction.

Beginning parents will probably have a good understanding of some of the pitfalls in modern parenting – prevention is so much better than any cure.

Parenting Process

Parenthood is a feeling of completeness. It is a thread woven of memories. Memories of happy and sad times, of pain and of joy. Parenthood is a continuous activity, it is a process in itself. Parenthood process is irreversible. We all take birth, grow up, grow old and finally find peace in God. This is a human life cycle, which cannot be altered, so is parenting process. Once a parent, is a parent forever. Parenting process helps evolve a person, as a child, as a parent and above all as a human being. Parenting process affects our personality, our attitude towards life over time and throughout the course of the life cycle.

The process of evolving in parenthood, becoming a parent is a gratifying and pleasing experience but also very demanding and nerve-racking. We would request and suggest that parenting process is the right time to greet and embrace the change of a lifetime.
Someone, very rightly said, it is tough to understand the parenting process unless you become a parent yourselves.

As a new member of parenting process, the new parent must understand the significance of a mother and a father in the life of your child. It is usually assumed that a mother plays most important role in parenting process. But, to completely neglect a fathers position in parenting process is not right. An affectionate, time devoting father, who participates in the child’s daily activities, help shape up the child’s personality in a manner which mother cannot do. This paternal element of closeness in parenting process helps develop the child emotionally as well as mentally. Parenting process, thus emphasizes that love of both the parents is a healthy and healing experience for the child. We would suggest that if the child is considered to be fruit of parenting process, mother and father are the roots of parenting process.
A very important understanding and learning of parenting process is that, as a parent you are always at the giving side of the relation. Parenting process states that you should not expect returns from your children. To give all your love and support to your child, is an eternal element of parenting process.

The other important key factor of parenting process is that the parent must learn a fact that children learn what they see. As a parent you must preach only what you proclaim, you yourselves know. Children are a mirror of what they see. So being a parent, as a learning of parenting process, parent must not introduce children to tension, confusion in life or any sort of harsh or fight behavior, at least through the family. Children replicate what they see, so mark your actions and words; this is the base of parenting process.

At the crux of parenting process, be positive in your attitude, and your child will follow. Be hopeful, full of energy and life, accept challenges, strive to achieve the perfection, this way the parenting process will help shape-up the personality and identity of your child.

Parenting - 10 Things That Will Improve Family Life

By : English Nanny

10 parenting tips that all parents should implement every day to improve their family's life and make it easier.

Parenting tip 1

Good parenting is remembering to tell your child you love them and not stopping – even when they so tall that they can look down on you. Do this regardless of how they behave because although you may not like his behavior you do love him.

Parenting tip 2

Speak words of affirmation to your child each day and as soon as they are old enough encourage them to speak these out to themselves. This will help you raise a more positive child which improves family life.

Parenting tip 3

Improve your parenting skills be encourage your child's independence and tell him what he can do it, rather than what he can’t do. It can often seem quicker to do things for your child but instead leave enough so you child can learn and become more independent

Parenting tip 4

Spend time listening and talking to each child individually, this is the greatest investment you can make in your child’s life. It’s the best way to show them that you love them

Parenting tip 5

Tell you child what you want them to do not what you don't want them to do. Using this positive parenting method is much more effect and gets the desired results much quicker. Parents if you don't want your child to leave their clothes on the floor then say " Please hang your clothes up" instead of "don’t leave your clothes on the floor."

Parenting tip 6

Give yourself the space to make mistakes you will never be the perfect parent they don't really exist. You will make mistakes, don't worry, forgive yourself and learn.

Parenting tip 7

This is parenting advice. Do at least one fun or relaxing thing every day for yourself, this will help to keep you sane and give you a more enjoyable day.

Parenting tip 8

Set up situations daily that will allow your child to make choices, this helps him develop independence and can save you both many arguments. Children as young as 18 months can be given an opportunity to choose.

Parenting tip 9

Keep your boundaries and discipline strategies consistent even if you're tired. A quick fix today often leads to more problems in the future.

Parenting tip 10

Keep in mind that your child will learn more by example than by what you say so set your child the best examples possible in everything.

Don't just read these parenting tips put them into practice. Good parenting involves action.

Parenting Tips and Online Reward Systems

By : Anirban Bhattacharya

World Wide Web is emerging as an alternative source to secure excellent parenting tips. For the believers of the point that good parenting ensures better future of the wards, web works as an important alternative to seek help from. In order to choose the parenting source, well suited to the nature of the kids, the parents are required to think wisely. There are a number of ways to find out the best parenting source and the place best place for that is none other than the World Wide Web. The Internet can guide the parents of the best parenting ways such as kids reward programme.

Besides the children reward system, there are other parenting sources for parents such as book and video haven. The books can tell you best parenting tips and is written in accord with the children’s psychology. Fictional stories given in the books can also be of great help to the parents. Comprehensive websites and links are also best option to get perfect parenting tips. The links can also be checked on the websites so as to get good parenting tips.

Other good parenting source is web forum where the parents can share from other experienced people, the tips and information of a good parenting. Taking active participation in web forums is the best way to get good parenting tips as it is conversational form of getting the parenting information. Lot of parents today are opting for message boards as it is light and fun method to talk about parenting.

Parents can also go for special instructional classes conducted to give parenting tips to the parents. By joining such classes, parents can get professional counseling on how to become a good parent. The parenting classes will give excess of practical tips and theories on child’s psychology by a skilled and certified professional having sound expertise in the area of parent counseling.

Good parenting tips can also be taken from the familiars and friends and they can be a good parenting resource. Since your familiars are close to you emotionally, so they can guide you best ways by which you can actually become a good parent. This is the easiest and priceless source to get parenting tips but the parents must make sure the nature of family and the children before making the advised parenting tip practical.

Single Parenting - Recognizing Their Efforts And Helping Them

By : Abhishek

According to Wikipedia, mono parents are parents without partners in raising a child or children. Thus, a mono parent is one who raises his or her bud solely and lonely, spouseless.

Illustrations on mono parents will be at variance from place to place. Each societal mannerism treats and classifies them to their accord.

Treatment of mono parents modify according to where they are put up. Mono parents in urban areas are dealt with in a more positive manner in contrast to those from rural areas.

Mono parenting has become a widespread scenario in today's lifestyle. But not all cultures receive this change in the way of living, with a positive outlook.

Mono parents- Their practicality

The mother or father is left to raise the bud, companionless, due to various causes and reasons.

They are singled out due to reasons like annulment, mutual separation (break-up), one of them is imprisoned or has kicked the bucket.

The so called parent, who raises the bud, is not necessary to be blood related to that bud. The DNA affirmation does not really count to classify him or her as a mono parent.

Parenting singly is a mere option opted by the person, if the bud is not his or her organic child. Opting to raise another person's bud is an aristocratic gesture.

As per the latest research, mono parents should get hold of their bud either legally or by adopting or by getting pregnant, unnaturally, or by becoming the surrogate mother.

Thus, mono parenting is a personal option, depending on one's own individuality. Bringing up a kid is a strenuous task and a costly affair, considering the present standard of living. Mono parenting might not always be successful.

In a few places, where the lifestyle of people is still passé, mono parents are regarded pariah. The reason is that, in those days, parenting children who are not born to them or raising a kid companionless, was considered as sin.

Mono parenting – Today's Fashion

Latest reports, taken in US, states that, on normal standards, thirty percent of the kids are raises in households of mono parents.

Parents, who are single, are dominantly mothers. The impact of mono parenting is more dawned upon mothers who are singled out. But, mono parents in fatherly figures, are also on a rise.

The male being a mono parent is a widespread scenario in Muslim dominated areas, due to the fact that they are yet to acknowledge the capability of a woman.

According to the 2002 poll taken in US, kids growing under the father's in charge was around ten plus five percent of parenthood. But this data has increased one tenth, over the decade.

Thus, its is inferred that in the 20th century, male gender shouldering the responsibility of raising a child was not prominent and such a scenario has changed adversely, as the lifestyle of people shifted.

Mono parenthood

Flow through the life, is what our living preaches us. Mono parenting has become a common gesture in our day to day life. Accept the change. Live the way you want.

Mono parenting, a sin, has become passé. The kids raised parents are not seen indifferently now. In fact, present regulations are in favor of such parents and children and the kids are protected from close minded people, by these legislations.

Nowadays, mono parenthood has become a part and parcel of the societal mannerisms. In fact, mono parents are acknowledged and appreciated for their strength of will and aristocratic gesture.

The Importance of Educating Today's Parents

By : Jody Johnston Pawel

Although most parents would agree that their children are more important than their job, most usually get more on-the-job training than they do as a parent. As a Mother of seven once said, "The love is instinctual but the skills are not."


A NATIONAL MOVEMENT

A 1990 study by fifteen of the nation's largest youth organizations found that the United States has done poorly in solving the problems affecting today's youth. There was broad agreement that the number-one solution to these problems was . . . better parents. As a result of their findings, the final report calls for a massive increase in parent education.

President Bush then released a statement of six national goals for education. The number-one goal states that "by the year 2000, all children in America will start school ready to learn." To attain this goal "parents will have access to the training and support they need."

President Bush's comments represent a movement in thinking which places more value on the importance of a parent's role in preparing children for school and life. It is encouraging to see that there is a growing awareness that families need support and education . . . in order to strengthen parents' skills and prevent future problems.


SOCIETY HAS CHANGED

In the past, when parents had questions about child-rearing they would usually have an extended family member close by to ask advice. While some parents may have family close by, many admit that their elders' advice on child-rearing often differs from current parenting information or their preferred style. This is a result of changes in our society over the past few decades:

Children are no longer "needed" to work side by side with their parents, like farmers' children of the past. This helped children feel they had something important to contribute and taught them basic responsibility and life-management skills. Today, children search for ways to belong in the family and with peers, sometimes in unhealthy ways.

Superior/inferior family relationships are no longer being modeled by mothers and fathers. Women have equal rights and children feel equally unwilling to accept an inferior, submissive role in life. This change is healthy, in that all people do have a right to be treated with respect and dignity. It leaves many parents, however, with few role models or practical skills for achieving this goal.

Early on, children are being taught that they have rights: to their bodies, their feelings, and to be treated by others with dignity as a worthwhile human being.

As a result, power-and-control parenting techniques are no longer effective, because parents "talk down" to "inferior" children. This style, therefore, inherently violates a child's right to be treated with respect, children recognize this, rebel and lose respect for the controlling parent. As our society became more affluent, many parents became more permissive and over-indulgent. Their children often grew up thinking the world owed them a living and they used their energy trying to get out of responsibilities.

Children are facing issues previous generations never had to face. It is important for parents to listen and communicate in open, respectful ways, so their children will feel safe in discussing their problems and feelings.

Although some of these societal changes have brought about positive results, they have left parents with few clear guidelines for how to raise this new generation of children into responsible adults.


EFFECTIVE, QUALITY PARENT EDUCATION

What it Isn't . . .

Parent education does not focus on what parents are doing wrong or advocate never disciplining children, as many parents assume. It provides new options to parents and encourages them to respect their own rights, as well as their children's.

Attending a parenting class is not a reflection of being a "bad" parent . . . it is an indication of a parent's commitment to his/her children and role as a parent. The classes are not just for parents who are having severe problems with their children's behavior. Many parents who attend classes want to feel more confident of their parenting and are looking for ways to prevent future problems and help their family get along cooperatively.

What it Is . . .

The most effective parenting classes are small, personal groups which provide opportunities for interaction among parents, practice of concepts and techniques learned, and individualized problem solving. Like most new skills, parents can benefit from ongoing reinforcement of what they have learned. Follow-up parent discussion groups, where parents can meet with others who have taken the class, provide an opportunity to continue applying the concepts to new situations.


MAKING THE COMMITMENT

Although professionals often recommend parenting classes, there are several issues which seem to prevent parents from joining these groups: finding a class, making the time commitment, and cost. All three really boil down to the underlying issue of priorities. If a parent looks at how much time and money he/she spends on business seminars, golf lessons, weekly fast food, or vacations, it makes sense to place a priority on attending a parenting class, which usually costs less than all of these! Parenting classes are an investment in your personal growth, your child's future, and in future generations. Consider doing your part to make this world a better place for everyone's children. Read a parenting book that gives trustworthy, accurate advice or check out your community's resources for local parenting classes.